A Cowgirl's Guide To Life

For Diane - Happy Birthday, Big Sister!

A Cowgirl's Guide To Life

written by Gladiola Montana

• Callin’ women the weaker sex makes about as much sense as callin’ men the stronger one.
• Her code of the West:  Use a short rope, a sweet smile, and a hot brand.
• A woman who intends to lean on her husband for support better make sure he’s standing on solid ground.
• Anybody who thinks they know everything ain’t been around long enough to know anything.
• Learn to tie some useful knots.
• The time to dance is when the music is playing.
• “One of these days” is “None of these days”.
• You can’t get ahead of anybody you’re tryin’ to get even with.
• There’s no need to buckle on chaps and spurs just to drive the milk cows in.
• If you wake up and find yourself a success, you ain’t been asleep.
• You don’t have to wait for someone to bring you flowers – plant your own garden.
• Be sure to taste your words before you spit ‘em out.
• You can’t keep trouble from visiting, but you don’t have to offer it a chair.
• If you’ve done it, it ain’t braggin’.
• It’s prudent to spend less time tryin’ to figure out whose right and more time trying to figure out what’s right.
• You can’t drown your sorrows; they know how to swim.
• If you find happiness inside of yourself, you’ll find it in other places too.
• A habit is either a blessing or a curse.  Think about that when you find you’ve fallen into one.
• If you want a little extra attention, ask your husband if you can borrow his six-shooter for the night.
• Sheep don’t associate with wolves, and for a dang good reason.
• Cryin’ about a bad past is a waste of good tears.
• Always try to make folks happy, even if it means going out of your way to avoid ‘em.
• When you see a turtle on a fence post, you may not know how it got there, but you can be darn sure it had help.
• If you don’t have a good reason to do something, then you’ve got a dang good reason not to do it.
• If you wanta say no, it’s best to say it right away.
• A woman’s intuition comes from payin’ attention to what’s goin’ on around her.
• New and improved can’t beat tried and true.
• When kissin’ a cowboy in the rain make sure both of you fit under his hat.
• You’ll make better progress if you’ll get out of your own way.
• A lot of families headed west with no more than bedding, buckets, Bibles, and high hopes.  That’s a pretty good start.
• Be wary of puppy love; it can lead to a dog’s life.
• A lesson every cowgirl should learn is where her business ends and someone else’s starts.
• Share your wisdom, not your prejudices.
• The secret to a long life is to be willin’ to grow older.
• Nobody’s credit is better than his money.
• If you don’t expect much, you ain’t gonna get much.
• It’s no big deal cleaning house, cooking meals, doing laundry.  More men oughta try it.
• Don’t find fault; find a remedy.
• About half your troubles come from wantin’ your own way; the other half come from getting’ it.
• A clear conscience is a restful pillow.
• There’s no future in livin’ in the past.
• If you get all wrapped up in yourself, you’ll find you make a pretty small package.
• Don’t try so hard to make your man a good husband that you don’t have time to be a good wife.
• There is a charm about a man who is wild.  Don’t fall for it.
• Getting up a lynch party is not group therapy.
• It’s easier to stay well than to get well.
• You can’t know everything; neither can anyone else.
• Charity is not a luxury acquired along the way.  It must be nurtured from the heart’s beginning.
• When there’s a drought everybody is dry.  When it rains, everybody gets wet.  Mother Nature makes no distinctions.
• Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
• To win you just gotta get up one more time that you fall.
• Don’t let anybody’s opinion kill your belief in yourself.
• When you disagree try not to be so disagreeable about it.
• A heart must be given to gain the heart of another.
• Virtue is its own punishment.
• Whenever you go away always come back before they learn to get along without you.
• Do not squander your pity or your strengths.
• Even a fool can be right some of the time
• Convincing yourself that a bad idea is a good one is a bad idea.
• From time to time find yourself a place so peaceful that you can enter the quiet.
• Given a choice between show and tell, silence is golden.
• Leisure to repent is a luxury ill-afforded.
• There is a big difference between a picnic and a pilgrimage.
• Horses always start, they never run out of gas, and they will not get you greasy.
• Men – you can’t live with them, and you can’t shoot ‘em.
• Baloney is baloney, no matter how thin you slice it.